A few weeks ago when I began this journey of learning to find comfort in Christ alone, I came across this verse in Job:
“Are the comforts of God too small for you,
Or the word that deals gently with you?
Why does your heart carry you away,
And why do you eyes flash,
That you turn your spirit against God,
And bring such words out of your mouth?”
(Job 15:11-13 ESV)
For most of my life, it seems like that when I have needed comfort I have turned to things other than the Lord.
Things like romance novels, soda, friends who are worldly, TV shows, and my career would become my escape from stress, hurt, disappointments, fears, and loneliness.
But when I read this verse, it started me to thinking and questioning the way in which I turn when I am in need of comfort and so I started on this journey of learning to turn to Christ first.
I’m only three weeks into this journey and I know that I have far to go still, but even if the changes are not noticeable to the people around me I am starting to see them in myself.
But I have still been wondering, “Are the comforts of God too small?” or rather, “What do you do when you feel like the comforts of God are too small?”
Because I have been there…I have been in a place of such pain that I didn’t want to read the Bible or hear my friends quoting Bible verses to me because it all seemed too pat and cliché. I didn’t want someone coming up to me and telling me that they understood because they have been in my shoes before.
I held onto a relationship far longer than I should have because I was so certain that I was right and that we were supposed to be together.
I wanted my way, not His, because I was so certain that my way was best.
I wanted everyone feeling sorry for me and treating me like I was the victim.
I fought His comfort at every turn.
And what do you do when His comfort seems too small?
What do you do when the words that should comfort cause nothing but anger and bitterness?
What do you do when you are so lost in feeling sorry for yourself that you sink deeper and deeper into depression every single day?
What do you do?
You give it to God.
I know. I know! It sounds like another pat answer, but it is not as easy as it sounds.
It’s not giving it to Him just once, but over and over again.
For me, it was literally spending time walking and talking with Him. I would walk up to this little cabin set on the edge of a cliff and as I walked I would just pour it all out to Him. At first it was just the twisted truth that I was telling myself. “But I just want to make sure that he is happy.” Then it became the arguments, “But I thought that you wanted us to be together, Lord.” Every ugly, hateful thing I was thinking and feeling would come out in those conversations, and the next day it would be the same thing all over again.
I would take my Bible with me on those walks and when I reached the cabin, I would sit and try to read. At first I couldn’t even open the Bible. Then I would open it and but quickly close it. Over and over again until the day came that I was able to pick it up and read it.
Then at first they were just words. I didn’t allow them to touch my heart, but the more I read (the more I forced myself to read) the more that they become real. And slowly the healing process began.
Healing and comfort are not instant things. You can’t just snap your fingers and feel better. You can’t just say a little prayer and instantly be over it.
Healing and comfort are processes. They take time, and they take work.
Are you willing to do the work?
Are you willing to allow God to cleanse you and heal you?
Are the comforts of God too small for you? Or do you truly believe that He can comfort you?