Dreaming God-Sized Dreams {week 4}

Can you believe it? We are over half way done with the book. We have just 3 more chapters to go after this week.

How are you coming with your God-sized dreams? Have you made your strategies? Are you working on your fears?

This week’s chapters held some great advice on what to do when your dreams go wrong and how to stop sabotaging yourself. Are you ready to get started?

When You’re God–Sized Dreams Go Wrong

As I was reading through this chapter, my thoughts turned back to when I opened a full-day preschool program. It was in a small town, and at the time owning and operating my own child care center was my dream. The funny thing was that everything just seemed to fall into place as I was working to open the center. It wasn’t until after I opened the center that my dream started to go wrong.

On the first day that the center was opened I had to deal with a family in crisis. I had to deal with an employ who thought that she could sit around and read when she was supposed to be interacting with the children. I had to deal with repairing the roof, and many other things that they don’t teach you about in business and child care classes. After a couple of years, I had to deal with the school district opening their own center. It wouldn’t have been a big deal in the city, but this was a small town so I basically lost all of my children to the school’s program.

(The irony of that…the school didn’t really recognize the need until I opened my program & had full enrollment on opening day. Two and a half years later they put me out of business.)

The experience of opening and running my own preschool program taught me that it is not a matter “if” your dreams go wrong, but it is a matter of “when” your dreams go wrong.

And that is what Holley addresses in this chapter. She gives us some great advice on what to do when your dreams go wrong.

1)    Recognize that your God-sized dream is not controllable…by you.

You can’t control your God-sized dream. No matter how much you think you are you’re not the one in control of your dream. The One that gave you that dream is the One in control of that dream.  Your part in the dream is obedience to the One who gave you the dream. Let Him take it from there because then we don’t have to be responsible for the results—He does.

2)   Try, try again.

When something goes wrong, reevaluate or re-strategize and then get right back to work on that dream. When I closed my preschool program, I knew that I still wanted to work in early childhood education so I set new goals and found a new job in that field. I didn’t give, and when that went wrong, I tried again in a new place. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that my dreams had changed and that was no longer where I wanted to be.

3)   Change your perspective

“We don’t have a choice about the rain that comes into the pathway of our dreams, but can choose what we do with it—and what we let it do to us.” (Holley Gerth) This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. In fact, most days I still don’t think that I have it down. In the preschool world, we would tell the children, “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.” And while most of us don’t throw fits like a preschooler does, how many of us are guilty of becoming bitter or sorry for ourselves when something goes wrong? But we can make a choice that whatever may come we will let it makes us better, not bitter.

4)   Guard your heart

“Above all else, guard your heart.” Proverbs 4:23

Guarding our hearts isn’t about locking them away and shutting people out. Guarding our hearts is about being alert, engaged and intentional…It’s about acting instead of reacting.

5)   Remember: It’s Never the End

Your God-sized dream won’t end until God says that it is time for it to end. Your dreams are going to change and grow as you change and grow. And while it can seem like one dream is ending, it is usually morphing into another dream and then another and another and that will continue until you are in heaven or until Christ comes back.

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Oh, I am so good at sabotaging myself. Isn’t that horrible to admit? But I am. And my biggest way of sabotaging myself isn’t one that Holley talked about in this chapter so I’m going to have to do a little studying on my own to figure out how to stop it.

In this chapter Holley gives us 5 ways to stop sabotaging ourselves.

1)    Remember you’re human

Recognize your limits, Embrace them. Use them. Take care of you. Pace yourself.

2)   Take care of your body

I, um, well, I, uh …Yeah, I don’t do this one so well. Next!

Okay! Alright I know that I need to do better. I know that my physical condition matters, that it affects my emotional, mental & even my spiritual condition, and I am starting to take steps (itsy, bitsy, baby steps at times) to improve my health and take care of my body.

What Holley recommends are all thing that we are familiar with…get enough sleep, eat healthy, and exercise. I’ve been getting enough sleep. I’ve started eating better. I have cut out almost all soda. I did this over Lent and started feeling amazing, but then last week I drank a lot of soda again and was sick all week so I have decided that soda is going to be a very rare treat. Exercising is something I need to create a plan for. I feel better when I’m up and moving so I need to make myself get up and moving on a regular basis.

What about you? What improvements do you need to make?

3)   Simplify your life

Right now, my life is probably overly simplified. I’m definitely working below my optimal pace, but for those of you who are working above your optimal pace Holley gives some great advice. She recommends making a list of what takes valuable resources from you and marking what drains you and what fills you up, reviewing the list and deciding what has to stay and what can be decreased, delegated or eliminated. Then make a plan for dealing with each item left on the list.

4)   Build your dream team

This is another one that I really need to work on. In the last couple of years since I started taking care of my grandmother, my world has become increasingly isolated. Oh, I have friends that I see and talk to on occasion, but as my grandmother has needed more and more care and rarely leaves the house anymore, those occasions have become less and less frequent and it is as much my fault as it is theirs. It is hard to make plans when you think you might have to cancel them.

But “relationships are at the heart of who we are” and I know that I need to find a way to re-energize my relationships and to get out and meet new people. Community is important, and having a group of people who are on your side is a necessity. Holley recommends 4 types of people to have on your team:

a)   A mentor

b)   An encourager

c)   A “younger” woman

d)   A cheering section

If you don’t have them, start praying that the Lord will send you the people you need to fill these roles.

5)   Decide to be on your side

Are you on your side? Or do you talking harshly and negatively about yourself? Me? I go back and forth, and I think most people do. But wounding ourselves is not loving ourselves so stop the negative and harsh talk. Love yourself and treat yourself kindly.

Read the rest of the series here:

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6

A few extra resources:

What if you don’t know your God-sized Dream?

How to Create a Digital Vision Board

Single & Dreaming

My God-Sized Dreams

9 Replies to “Dreaming God-Sized Dreams {week 4}”

  1. […] you read yesterday’s post, then you know that I have a tendency to be self-sabotaging. It is not something I plan or […]

  2. Thank you for sharing this on the link up! Sometime what we see as “a dream gone wrong” is just a signal from God that the dream has served it purpose or that this season of life has ended and it’s time to move forward and begin a new dream!

    1. Beckey, you’re right. Sometimes it is a signal that it is time to begin a new dream, and sometimes it just means that we have to re-strategize. The hard part is knowing when to let go and move on and when to keep fighting.

  3. Thank you for sharing this post. I am hopping in from juanamikels linkup. Building my dream team is something I began doing right after reading Attitude is Everything by Keith Harrell. But some how I stopped, may be because the whole process of finding, talking and following the person up to get his/her response wasn’t encouraging. Though I think that too had something to do with my being harsh and critical on myself. I am starting all over now though. Your post is like a push/ an energizer for me.
    Thank you so much. Plus you just earned one follower….
    Have a lovely day ahead.

    1. Grace, I totally understand how discouraging the whole process of building your dream team. I struggle with it myself. For me, it doesn’t have to do with being harsh and critical though. For me, the struggle lies in fear.

  4. This is so awesome! (for many reasons)

    First, I literally guffawed out loud when I read “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit!” I’ve NEVER heard anyone else say that, but I’ve said it to my kids since they were little. Who knew it’s an actual saying?!

    There are so many other things that address me in here it’s almost difficult to pinpoint them all. In particular, however, is taking my physical health seriously and not having relationships.

    I often wish I had close friends, even BLOG friends, but then I realize it’s because I don’t really put in the effort that it takes to grow my friendships. As a homeschool mom of four, with a fifth baby on the way, I often feel like I don’t have time to tend to relationships…it’s everything I can do to get to spend alone time with my husband! Nevertheless, I know this is an area in which I definitely need to grow!

    Thank you so much for continuing with the series!

    1. Alissa, congratulations on baby 5! I think that a lot of people anymore feel like they don’t have time to tend relationships. It is definitely an area that I am growing in myself.

  5. Wow! There are so many great pieces of wisdom in this book! And especially this chapter on the God-sized dreams that go wrong,..and like you said, at one time or another, they will. Thanks for sharing!

  6. mescaleroteacher says: Reply

    Your post has convinced me to order this book! Thank you so much for sharing. Your post is full of important truths that I need to focus on, because I’m determined to live a God-sized dream – the one He has for me. Thank you for the encouragement you provided in this post. Blessings!

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