When We Compare

Have you ever thought about what really happens when we compare ourselves to someone else?

When you walk into church on Sunday and see that woman again (you know, the one who looks perfect and whose children never misbehave), you begin to compare yourself to her. You feel like you don’t measure up. You feel like you will never measure up.

Or what about the times you walk into Walmart and see a mother whose kids are running around the store screaming and in the middle of a huge tantrum, and suddenly your kids don’t seem so bad and you feel like you are a great mom?

What about the woman who is an unhappy marriage and when she sees a friend of hers who has never been married and thinks that her single friend has such a great life?

Or what about the single woman who longs to be married and every time she hangs out with her married friends she thinks that they must have the perfect life?

What is really happening in these situations? What is really going on?

We hear a lot of people tell us to stop comparing ourselves to others because it hurts YOU, but what if I told you that you need to stop comparing yourself to other because it hurts GOD and it hurts OTHERS?

Have you ever really thought about it that way?

When we compare ourselves to others, several things happen:

1)    It places our focus on us. When we compare ourselves to others, we make things all about us, and it is not supposed to be about us. We become so focused on what we have or what we don’t have. We can become prideful and take the glory for ourselves, or we can come to believe that we are worthless. But it is not supposed to be about us. It is supposed to be about loving God and loving others.

2)   It hurts our relationship with Christ. Because we make things about us, it hurts our relationship with Christ. How can we say that we are loving and serving Him when all we do is think about ourselves and what we want? We can’t be obedient and say “yes” to what He is asking us to do if we are focused on what we want to do.

3)   It hurts our relationships with others. When we compare ourselves to others, we damage our relationships with others. The damage might not be noticeable. It might be like a small paper cut. You can feel it but not really see it. Or it can be bigger. It can tear a relationship apart. The jealousy and envy that comes with it. The bitterness. The anger. All of it can build and grow. It can build walls between people and many times the other person doesn’t even know why the walls have been put there in the first place.

4)   We aren’t loving ourselves or others. When it comes right down to it though, the bottom line is that when we compare ourselves to others we are not loving God, ourselves, or them. It keeps us from reaching out, from building relationships, and serving others.

The only person I should be comparing myself to is myself. Am I a better person today than I was yesterday? Am I being the best me that I can be? Am I being the person who God created me to be? Am I focusing on loving God and others as much or more than I am focusing on myself? Am I working on building my relationships with others and serving others?

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. Are you a better person today than you were yesterday? Are you being the best you that you can be? Are you being who God created you to be? Are you focusing on loving God and others as much or more than you are focusing on yourself? Am I working on building my relationships with others and serving others?

 

1 Comment

  1. Misty, this is very realistic. Envy roots from our comparing ourselves with others and so all these things you mentioned happen. The only person we need to undo is ourselves.

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