Lately I have been feeling like a hypocrite and a failure especially when it comes to the blog. I write and share in the hopes that I’m encouraging others, but sometimes I wonder if I come across as judging others or as if I have it all together.
I don’t have it altogether though not by a long shot. My life is imperfect. I’m imperfect. When I write a post, I write what I need to hear, what I need to be doing to live more authentically.
I don’t want to copy anyone or be anyone else. I just want to be me.
I want to live a life that is authentic and one that points people to Christ. I want to be true to myself as well as true to the plan that the Lord has to my life, but most of the time I feel trapped. I feel trapped by my fears and my desire to please others. I feel trapped by who the world says I should as opposed to who the Lord has created me to be. I feel trapped and overwhelmed by the circumstances of my life.
I find myself not really living, much less living authentically or abundantly. I struggle to be me.
When I feel trapped or overwhelmed, I have a tendency to withdraw. I pull away from people and life. I have found myself doing that a lot lately by watching a lot of TV or playing games on my Kindle Fire, and I have been thinking about taking a break from the blog again, but honestly that is not what I need.
I need to start living again. I need to start living authentically and to get out of this rut that I have sunk into.
Where do I start though? Where do I start to tear down the walls that I have been putting up?
I start with:
- Spending time each day with the Lord
I don’t think that I can stress enough how important this is for any part of our lives. It is something that I haven’t been making time for lately and I think it is why I have been having a lot of the thoughts and feelings that I have been having lately. When our relationship with the Lord isn’t right or when we aren’t spending enough time with Him, it can affect how we live the rest of our lives.
- Letting go of my fears
I can’t live authentically when I’m letting my fears control me instead of me controlling my fears. Controlling my fears is easier when I’m spending time with the Lord consistently because I’m resting in Him and letting His Spirit guide me and comfort me. On the other hand, when I am letting my fears control me, I am pushing aside His Spirit and listening instead to the voices that tell me that I’m not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough.
- Spending time each day doing something just for me
I know that it sounds selfish, but honestly self-care is important so whether it is just 10 minutes every day reading a book or going to the gym everyday you have to make the time for you. When you don’t take the time to take care of yourself, you can’t be yourself and be there for others so it’s not selfish.
You are beautiful. You are unique, and so I am. We need to start living authentically and stop letting our fears control us.