Red and pink everywhere
Romantic movies on TV
It feels like everyone is a part of a couple.
Everyone but you that is
Valentine’s Day can be hard for those who are single especially when you are not dating or have any prospects to date.
But Valentine’s Day doesn’t haven’t to be hard. You have a choice. You can focus on what you don’t have, or you can focus on love.
Focus on God’s love. Focus on loving others.
Three years ago on Valentine’s I went on my last date. The next day we decided that we weren’t going to work out as a couple. The main reason was because I had made the mistake of dating someone who was not a Christian.
After we broke up, I decided that I didn’t want to date anymore. I was tired, tired of being hurt, tired of being lied to, tired of believing that a relationship with a man was going to fix all of the problems in my life.
I decided that it was time to switch my focus. I decided that I needed to focus more on my relationship with the Lord.
In the 3 years since I have stopped dating and focused on my relationship with the Lord I have learned many lessons about being single and about myself and about the Lord.
Probably the first and hardest lesson that I had to learn was that I was broken. Oh, I at the time I acknowledged that I’m not perfect and that I make mistakes, but I never recognized that I was broken, that there is something inside me that keeps me from having a healthy relationship. I always seemed to attract men who were broken and struggling with something, but it wasn’t until I stopped dating that I realized that the men I attracted were broken in ways that are similar to how I’m broken. In fact, it took one of them telling me that I needed to be fixed and how I needed to be fixed to wake me up.
This brokenness isn’t only seen in my relationships with men though. It is also seen in my relationships with friends and family.
The second lesson that I have had to learn is that I can’t glue myself back together. I need the Lord to do that. Only He can fix what is broken in me.
The third lesson that I had to learn is that singleness is a gift. It doesn’t mean that there is something that makes me unlovable or of less worth than those who are married. It means that the Lord has a different calling for me a single, that there is more I need to learn and do, and that I can best serve the Lord as a single woman at this time.
But the lesson that I have been learning above all other lessons is to depend on God for everything. I’m learning that when I’m lonely turn to God. When I need money, turn to God. When I’m sad, when I need to vent, when I’m happy, when I want to celebrate, turn to God. Whether I’m in times of plenty or times of need, I have to turn to God and depend on Him.
When I’m dependent solely upon the Lord, I can be content no matter what my circumstances (or my marital status) so Valentine’s Day no longer holds the power to make me sad or envious. I have turned my focus to celebrating God’s love and loving others.